Jan Kirsch
06/10/09
Winter Body, Summer Soul Free Preview
In the beginning:
nausea, baldness, lack of lashes;
pain in your soul so strong:
vulnerabiblity, loss of confidence:
betrayal of the body, despair of the soul;
DEATH - watching, reaching,
So begins the nightmare.
I"m helpless as ot unfolds.
Ovarian cancer.
With that diagnosis the nightmare begins.
I wake up from surgery with Bill leaning over me. He kisses me and says, “It’s cancer.” The gentle tones of his voice bleed with the sadness I see in his eyes. Our son Daniel is there.
My brother Laird, his wife, daughter, and my sister Gail are there.
And Mom.
The tedium and toil of the five-hour surgery lie on their faces. While I sleep in a drug-induced womb with a man in white slicing out all my womanness, they wait with fear. With one look, I know the worst.
The fear of dying attacks me. They hover by my bed but I am looking at them through a glass wall. The unspoken word separates us.
I am alone and afraid.
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